2015 kind of sums up the current state of me:

January: Fat.
February: Ate most of the food. Solved a math problem against my will. Got into a weird walking contest with some bitch on the sidewalk. Gave life to another human being. Wrote a check for the first time in 3 months.
March: Caught up on Game of Thrones. Became a shut in. Began to believe I lived beyond the wall.
April: Obsessed about weight. Also, rediscovered alcohol.
May: Experimented with alcohol.
June: Fit into pre-pregnancy jeans. Celebrated with a few “glasses” of wine.
July: Wore a bathing suit. Cried for a couple of days after seeing a picture of myself. Had a *little* wine.
August: I don’t remember August.
September: Turned 35. Had *some* wine. Cried.
October-November: Extreme anxiety. On plus side, lost 10 pounds.
December: Started new job.
7 days later: quit that job. As it turns out, my tolerance for being publicly berated is at an all-time low. 

January 2016:

Decided that being unemployed is the life for me.  It’s going really well so far.